Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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