pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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