If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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