Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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