I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
