I got chris browned last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
