tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize