I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
