where am i from again
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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