Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
