I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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