Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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