you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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