covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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