His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
