if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
