I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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