If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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