I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
