They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
