you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
