oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
