I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
