Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
