You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
