bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
