I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
