I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
