she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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