So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
