yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
