I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
