Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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