You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize