My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
