i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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