Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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