smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dear god my vagina.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
