$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
