I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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