FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
