I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
