Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
