HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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