note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
