Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
