Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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