he thought i was a dude.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
