The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
People in love make me want to vomit
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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