god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
