Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
