Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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