I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Randomize
