its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
