life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize