i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
