somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
