bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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