Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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