I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
