I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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