She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just forgot I was standing up.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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