she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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