Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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