Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
