if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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