she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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