hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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