so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize