there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
