Christians are straight up FREAKS
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
