Umm I'm too high to move.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
