Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize