How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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