North Korea, Best Korea!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
